Land of Volcanos

(Sunset in Arcatao). I finally got to use the hiking boots I dragged across the continent for the first time this weekend. I was glad to have them, as they helped to grip the porous volcanic rocks on the way down Volcan Izalco. My legs are still sore 3 days later, but it was worth it. There's nothing like the satisfaction of having climbed a volcano and breathing in the hot sulfur steam coming up from deep inside the mountain.

Work has been a struggle for so many reasons. I struggle with the guilt of not being able to accomplish very much in only 2 months time. I struggle with how I could be most useful to projects such as the Mental Health program and Masculinities program in the long term, being a foreigner and being a woman. Should I be involved in direct group facilitation or assist more in research, program planning and funding?

In any case, last weekend I had the chance to cofacilitate the 5th workshop for the Gender, Religion and Memory research project in Arcatao. I am continually impressed by Deisy's ability to connect the trauma experienced by group participants to its physical manifestation. We planned to have the group present socio-dramas about near-death experiences and "guindas" which were times when the entire community had to flee into the mountains in the middle of the night in single file without light or sound. If the soldiers heard them or found them on the move, they would have all been killed. In order to prepare for re-living some of these really intense experiences, we conducted an activity called the Blind Lasso, where the participants had to pass a series of obstacles blindfolded, holding onto a rope and depending on those in front of them to alert them of the obstacles. I thought it would be really re-traumatizing for this group of mostly elderly men and women to participate in this activity. I felt really scared during this activity, that one of the participants would break down, that the experience would be too overwhelming, that someone would fall. But Esperanza led the group, carefully stepping her foot out in front of her feeling out for any obstacles and yelling out to her compas when there was a step, a tree, a hole, a channel to cross. Most of the participants really seemed to appreciate the opportunity to be able to share together this horrible event that they all experienced in order to remember it together and not leave it festering in their minds and in their bodies. They seem used to dealing with the pain of the past, so that talking about it in the workshops isn’t the first time these stories are coming out. The next workshop is the weekend after next, the last one I’ll be able to participate in. I’ll let you all know how it goes.

Workshop hopping

I was moved to tears numerous times this weekend. My co-workers at CBC truly amaze me with their creativity, energy, and compassion in the groups they facilitate. On Thursday morning, Rutilio picked up Hector and I and we drove through the abandoned streets of San Salvador north to La Palma, the same Franciscan center in the mountains where the last workshop I went to took place. 19 male youth from all over the country arrived soon after for the last session of their Equinox Masculinities workshop. I mostly came to conduct interviews with 4 of the participants about their impressions of the methodologies used and how the program has impacted them. Because the group is all men and they have already established trust with each other, I did't participate in most of the activities, but I did have a chance to observe a few. What I saw was really powerful...

The first day the youth spent the afternoon and evening in a process of Forum Theatre (a technique based on the work of Augusto Boal and Theater of the Oppressed). First they thought up situations in which violence occurs on a daily basis and acted them out, without words. Then, each group added words to their piece. After this second performance, the actors froze at the point at which the conflict was about to break out and audience members had the chance to ask questions of each of the characters. One of the scenes involved a man looking for sex workers. He ended up with 2 female prostitutes and a transvestite. When he realized the transvestite wasn't a woman, he began to beat her up and the police came to break up the fight. After the question and answer session, one of the audience members took the place of one of the sex workers to act out a way of preventing the conflict from happening. This tool of Forum Theater seemed to work really well and I was really impressed by how Rutilio and Hector facilitated the process.

The next day, while I escaped to climb the tallest peak in El Salvador, the youth worked on a process of representing their "Corner," or their space. The idea was for them to think about the spaces they occupy or share with others and what kind of emotions they have while in these spaces. Each of the participants then presented their corner to the rest of the group by candlelight. I peeked in for part of this process and was incredibly moved. The youth all quietly listened to each of their compañeros as they talked about their feelings about family members and relationships. One of the youth broke down while talking about his father and his brother who has Downs' Syndrome. At the end of each presentation, they all surrounded the presenter and hugged him as a group. They shared things with each other that they hadn't shared with anyone else, and some of the youth were completely overwhelmed by emotion during the process. But in this space, they had the support of their friends and the staff of the Centro who helped them learn how to express their emotions in healthy ways.

After this workshop, I took off again for Arcatao, but I'll write more about that tomorrow...